I met my husband, Adrian, when I was 24. We both worked at Barclays Head Office in London. We got engaged when I was 26. Adrian mentioned one day he wanted a baby before he turned 30 so we started to try for our first baby. October came and I was in charge of organising the office Christmas party, I had stopped drinking while trying but I really wanted to relax and drink at the party. I conceived that night!! And I fell pregnant!
The first scan was so exciting, I had a 3D scan which confirmed we were having a girl, and her heart was the size of a poppy seed. We nicknamed her ‘Poppy’. So… we had a baby, got married and moved abroad all within a 6 month period!
Our little family life was good in France, we decided to stay and when Eva Mai was around 18 months old, we started to try for our second baby. I remember wanting another girl and even googling ‘how to try for a girl?’. It said to eat lots of bananas ?! I got pregnant quickly this time, I started to have quite intense headaches and nausea. Much worse then with Eva Mai… I felt there was something strange so we had an early 9 week scan…
Two circles appeared on the screen. That must be two feet??Or a hand and a foot?! What?! Feet and hands are not like that?!! Is it two heads?!
Mr obstetrician says,
“You’re having TWINS!” ……
(jaw drops and all my mind can think is, I can’t physically have twins?!)
I remember everything was a blur. I cried. Adrian was so excited, he kept saying ‘we can do this!’ But in my mind I was so afraid… There are twins in my family, in fact the last 2 generations but it still never crossed my mind that I would have twins! Also the obstetrician confirmed identical twins are not hereditary, they are a miracle! My egg split after conception. In my twelve week scan it said TWO BOYS! So much for eating bananas!! Lol
I had the best consultants in Monaco hospital, I was treated like royalty! But it was really because the pregnancy was classed as high risk. The boys had a membrane separating them but they were sharing one placenta, which meant there was a risk of Twin to Twin Transfusion syndrome (TTTS). One could eat more then the other.
I had to have scans and blood tests every month to check I wasn’t diabetic. Already they were good boys and they were 50/50 all through the pregnancy. And they still are the same till this day. We didn’t have any solid boys names ready. The consultant labelled them J1 & J2, so we came up with 2 names beginning with J. Joshua Mylo & Jacob Dylan.
I already knew how hard it was to get out the house in the morning with just one toddler, how on Earth could I cope with 3?! After the initial shock I started to get excited well, excited and scared at the same time. When we told all our family and friends. Everyone was in shock! Planning mode was on… I was like an FBI agent, researching everything about twin life. Car seats – how to get 3 in?! (we eventually bought what looked like a rollercoaster car seat, called ‘The Multimac’ it can fit 3 or 4 across the back.)
Pushchairs – going from my lovely bugaboo bee to foldable double baby jogger.
with a skateboard attachement at the back for Eva Mai.
They were born an hour earlier then scheduled! Cheeky little monkeys.
What’s the most magical thing about having twins?
Watching them grow up together, it’s just fascinating, the connection they have is so special. They have two separate single beds at home and even now they choose to sleep together in one! I feel very lucky to be able to experience being a twin mum. I think it’s wonderful that they can experience everything the world has to offer, together. It’s like sharing everything with your best friend.
Is there any advice about having twins you wish you had been given?
There’s a few I can list here..
1. Not to push or stress about milestones. And I suppose that goes for all babies. They will do everything in their own time. It’s even harder to do this when there’s a constant comparison with a twin, you naturally worry, then all of a sudden it just comes. Jacob always reached his milestones first, Joshua would sit back and watch, then a month later he would reach it.
2. I would definitely say find support to get you through all the stages… pregnancy, delivery and the first six months. I mean nothing can really prepare you for having twins! I didn’t actually know anyone with twins when I fell pregnant, so I found a Facebook Twin group page, that was really helpful.
3. After breast feeding Eva, she was very attached to me and wouldn’t take a bottle so I made sure from birth, the boys had at least one bottle a day of expressed milk so if I needed someone to help, they would be happy with a bottle.
What products could you not parent without?
Swing chairs! They were an absolute life saver even with Eva. Dummies… I said I would never give them dummies and all 3 had dummies 😂 Don’t feel guilty. Find what works and do it.
How do you think you have changed as a person after becoming a mother?
I became completely selfless. All of a sudden you are responsible for little babies and they always come first. I quickly got used to cold teas and skipping meals! Having three also made me become more strict. I became a military mum! With Eva everything was baby led, after the boys were born, all of that went out the window… routine routine routine arrived. I even did sleep training with the boys, which I found really hard at first but soon realised it was best for everyone. My boys have loved their sleep ever since, whereas Eva had sleep issues until around age nine.
Now they are age 13, 10 and 10. I would still say I’m quite a strict Mum. But I get many compliments on the kids behaviours so I must be doing something right!